A good wife is the one who is righteous and deserves Paradise. She is the best treasure ever a man can be blessed with in the worldly wife. With Paradise guaranteed to her such that she may enter from any of the eight gates of Paradise, which Muslim woman would not want to be one? But how do we begin and how do we remain steadfast especially in times of trials? How do we make this journey a rewarding one?
Allah says, “O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer.” (Surah An-Nisa, ayah no 1)
Motivation is something that energies us and helps us to reach our goal. As a Muslim woman, your motivation should be Taqwa (consciousness of Allah such that one obeys His Commands and prevents himself from that which Allah has prohibited). If you desire to be among the righteous wives, then the very first thing you need to build is your Taqwa. Because, if your motivation is to please Allah by being a righteous wife then that’s a good sincere intention worthy of success in duniya and reward in the Aakhirah, insha’Allah. And it is this spiritual motivation that will keep you going through the various marital phases throughout your life with wisdom and patience.
Having Taqwa makes you conscious of your purpose of creation. How can a wife become the woman of Paradise if she does not even know why did Allah created her? Here’s why we need to go back to the basics. It is important to remind yourself that this life is a place of struggle. Expecting things to be perfect in this life results in frustration and sometimes depression. Your marriage may not be perfect, your husband may not be perfect, your children may not be perfect and you may not be perfect either – and that’s absolutely normal, that is how things in this duniya are meant to be. No one’s life is perfect or ideal. The only reason you are given this life is so that Allah may test you. Know the temporary and imperfect nature of this world. You are not going to live in this life forever, you are only a traveler. In the end you will reach to Allah, where Allah will perfect you and perfect your life. That is when you will be in complete pleasure and satisfaction.
Allah says, “”[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed” (al-Mulk, 67:2)
You are being tested every single day of your life with your husband, children, house, responsibilities, blessings and so much more. What is expected of you to do in these tests?
You need to have “ihsan”, which means doing good deeds according to the best of your capability (ahsanu ‘amalaa). Allah does not expect from you least but He wants you to be excellent! Know that Allah did not create you to be in on the earth but to be in Paradise. Allah is able to grant everyone of us Paradise but it is His Hikmah (Wisdom) that He created Adam (alayhis salam) to life and then from him, He created all of us as his off-springs and put all of us through tests and trials so that only those among us who do “ahsanu amalaa” (deeds in excellence) would receive the ultimate reward, Al Jannah .Do ahsanu ‘amalaa (excellent deeds) with everyone and everywhere and at every time…Whether you are in the house, outside the house, with your husband, with your children, with your family or with your parents-in-law. Doing ihsan does not mean that we do good only to those who do good for us. Ihsan is dealing in the best manner with everyone whether they do good to you or not.
A believing woman strives to be a righteous wife because her goals are higher unlike the women of duniya who may desire to be a good wife in order to have a happy and successful marriage. But the believing woman understands that her marriage is temporary and the duniya is temporary, so she makes her marriage a means to attain the ever-lasting abode. Al Jannah, is the Mercy of Allah, the Favor of Allah. It is the dwelling for the purified ones. It has everything that you desire. You will live under the Shade of the
Throne of Allah. Living in the neighborhood with Allah is the greatest and highest reward and pleasure. You will enjoy starring at the beautiful Face of Allah, the Most Honorable and Most Majestic. You will enjoy hearing Allah, and you will enjoy the company of the people you will accompany. There is no delight and joy in this world compared to the enjoyment of Paradise. This is what the Muslim wives should sincerely desire. To be in a marriage or to be a wife is a blessing from Allah.
The Prophet صَلَّى اللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّم said: “If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter Paradise by whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.” (Ahmad)